Random Ramblings

It is funny what we obsess about as parents and what's more what we judge and want to change about what our parents did with us. Maybe that is why we obsess so much because we think back about what we didn't like or did like and are consumed to be perfect at it. I came to a conclusion a long time ago that still sounds terrible when I say it out loud but I am far from a perfect parent and if I can do good enough then I'll be happy with that. Now K probably won't and she'll keep her list of all I do wrong and try to do better. More power to her but I do hope she learns one thing that has come to me in the past few months.

1. You can screw up a great deal as a parent and if you truly love your kids you can make up for a lot of that.
2. Having your own life and needs and taking care of them doesn't make you less of a good parent as long as they don't become first in your life at the expense of your child taking care of your own identity probably makes you a better parent.
3. Whether you work, stay at home, work from home what really makes you a good parent is what you do -otherwise known as quality time vs. Quantity time. I don't know that I always agree with that argument but I do think it is what you do when you are with your child that makes the difference not necessarily what aspects of yourself and identity you are exploring.
4. There are people who are way better parents then I am and people who are way worse. This is a truth of life- no matter what you are looking at there is probably someone who is better then you and others that are worse. I can think of a few exceptions to this rule like Gold Winning Athletes etc, but if you open up things enough then you find someone who has something better then you. So Michael Jordan may be the best basketball player ever but in some other area of his life he really sucks- trust me we all aren't good at everything. So when you look back on your childhood - yeah your parents may have screwed up royally or they may be the best ever but all in all there are others out there that had it worse or better so don't waste too much time whining or trying to fix it. After all if you just try to do the opposite of what your mom and dad did you'll miss the things they got right.