Turning One

I thought I might post every day this week with different thoughts on what it is like for your baby to turn 1. But it is Wednesday and he turns one on Saturday so you can see how that worked out. Oh well. Lots of thoughts keep racing through my head. So I'll take time now and highlight one of the more melodramatic ones. I also hope to find Owen's birth story and post that as well.

We induced Owen and that feels funny to write because when we induced him we didn't know his name was Owen but now it feels awkward to not call him Owen. The labor was routine and going very well. Unlike with his sister I had my epidural early and I can remember clear as day while I watched Days of Our Lives thinking- I could do this again easy. This induction thing is the way to go. I was in no pain, quite relaxed and happy. My husband was reading a book. I remember the time that the pain came back clear as day because it was about 1:51 and I was watching then end of Days of Our Lives. The nurse came in and I told her how I thought the epidural was wearing off because I was feeling a lot of pain. She had come in to check though because the babies heart rate was dropping with each contraction. She checked me and I hadn't dilated anymore and she turned the pitocin up (if you are versed in baby having that doesn't necessarily make sense but at that time the decels weren't dramatic and she had shifted my position so given no progress in almost an hour it wasn't a crazy thing to do). The increase in pitocin caused much greater decels and his heart rate was dropping to below 60 with each contraction and I was having a lot of contractions and they did hurt. Again his heart rate had been 140 ish so this is a pretty decent drop. This is not a horribly abnormal happening. But for me and my incredibly blessed life it was terrifying. I kept telling myself it was normal. They stopped the pitocin and put me on oxygen but things didn't improve. I found myself in my husband's very capable hands as he calmed me down and said all the perfect and right things. My rationale side said "Oh they'll do a C section" and I am more then OK with that though if you had asked me before labor I would have told you how little I wanted to have a C section. But you could care less when your child's health is on the line. But I couldn't stop myself to going to - What if we lose him? What if he is stillborn? How will I ever survive if we lose this child I have been planning for and dreaming of these 9 months. I know him already, I love him already.

We didn't lose Owen- he was born not even an hour later and I didn't have a C section- the umbilical cord was quite nicely and tightly wrapped around his neck and I went from 4 cm to delivery in under 1 hr. That is a tough fast labor for a little guy to endure but he was tough and he made it.

It just brings me to looking at my soon to be 1 year old boy and thinking of how lucky I am. There are so many things that could have gone wrong during the pregnancy and the first year of life that having him healthy and here with us is truly a miracle. I know many disagree with that. And on the surface I get the argument- it happens routinely, it is nature's way so it isn't miraculous. But I guess I'd say talk to any mother who had her baby early, or worst lost a baby. They will tell you what miracles their children are and what a miracle it is when everything works the way it should. So we have a commonplace life - we have two children (couldn't do the 2.3 that stats say we should have) a dog and a happy marriage. But I see this kind of happiness as truly a miracle.

So Happy Birthday Owen- I am glad you came to us- you were more then worth the wait and you are the sweetest note we could end our baby days with just as your sister was the sweetest note to begin them with.