My journey so far

In my quest to lose the last of the baby weight- I have been also on a weight loss journey. This time I have coupled my normal- eat less exercise more with more positive body image work. I promised myself if I lost weight this time I would be happy where I was and still not hating body parts or grimacing when I saw pictures of myself. The world will teach Kaitlyn to hate her body enough I don’t need to be one more example of that. I don’t’ kid myself that I can make that much of a difference after all my mother rarely bitched about the way she looked and though often not slim was always pretty comfortable with her appearance. But still I spend a lot of time hating myself. I can’t say I have been completely successful but I am doing better than ever before.

I gained 10 lbs before I became pregnant with Owen. I then gained 40 lbs with him. I literally was the heaviest I have ever been in my life. But still I took 3 months off of worrying about it after he was born- I promised I would. I then joined Curves- for many reasons
1) It was 5 minutes from my house
2) It was a 30 minute workout
3) It wasn’t too hard for me

I was out of shape plain and simple- I had been walking prior to Curves and started the Couch to 5 K program- I think I did the first run wrong but what I did was run/jog 90 seconds and walk 90 second or a minute or something like that. I did this about 5 times and felt like I would die and I was sore the next day. The first two reasons counted because I was now a full time working mother of 2 with a husband that was beyond busy in school. I simply didn’t have time to travel 20-30 minutes to gyms that had a workout I was more used to and I didn’t have 1 hr Plus to do it when I got there.

After Kaitlyn was born was one of the second best fitness times of my life. There was a gym around the corner- I could literally walk to it. It was all female and they had child care. I went about 4-5 times a week and spent a good hour there at least each time- longer if Scott was watching Kaitlyn. I lost all my weight with her by the time she was 9 months and I was in great shape if I do say so myself. The first time of great fitness was when I started going to the gym with a friend who was preparing for officer training for the military that was when I first began running. I almost made it to running 3 miles on the treadmill in 30 minutes and I did weight religiously. Then I got pregnant but oh well such is life.

Anyway back to Curves- I did Curves and WW on-line for 9 months and lost 35 lbs and over 35 inches. Then my Curves closed down and though I was pissed in reality I had outgrown the work out. About half way through Curves as Owen got older I had added in 2- 20-30 aerobic workouts to that normal routine and sometimes some extra weight training mostly for my abs.

I still had the same problem with gyms they are too far from where I work and too far from my home. I believe personal obligations aside if exercise isn’t convenient you won’t do it. So I signed up to blockbuster on line to be able to try new exercise DVD’s and then soon started a version of the couch to 5 k program for running. I can now run 30 minutes consecutively with no problem – a big change from the woman who died running a couple of 90 second intervals. I have signed up for a 5 k race in early May and ever since I ran on that treadmill with that friend I have wanted to run one and I will finally do it-barring natural disasters. I am also starting to focus on weight training a little more seriously and ironically find myself thinking what will help my running and help prevent injuries rather then what will help me lose weight faster. Weight training was always a chore I did to increase muscle mass to be able to burn more calories at rest and lose weight or maintain weight. When did this happen- when did my focus get so much better?

I always liked exercise once I made myself do it for a bit. But always in the back of my mind was how many calories did I burn- did I work hard enough- in short though I liked how exercise made me feel the ultimate goal was always weight loss. Pilates/Yoga- I scoffed at since they didn’t provide enough calorie burn to be worth the trouble. Now I find myself caring about how far I can run and thinking about training schedules that will increase my endurance without injury so I can work on speed down the road. I think well maybe I can do a 10 K after a couple of 5 Ks- hmm who knows a half marathon someday- that is crazy- I doubt I’ll ever want to run 13 miles but I never thought I’d run ever. Back in grad school when I first tried I thought- well I will support my friend but I doubt I’ll get far with it. I looked at the air force officer requirements way back then I could do the run at the speed they recommended and the crunches/sit ups- but never the push ups. I figured oh well 2 out of 3 ain’t bad. But now I think why not- I can’t do one push up but I also used to not be able to run 2 minutes. Why can’t I work up to 18 in 1 minute. Why not indeed.

I have lost 42 lbs total now- If you count the 5 I gained at Christmas and lost again it would be 47 but oh well I’ll get there. And that today is the most amazing thing of all. I won’t I don’t’ care about the scale or how I look, or what size I am. Because I still do and I think no matter how much progress I make I always will. But right now I probably care more about this upcoming race and how well I run and improving my strength then I do about how quick the last 8 lbs come off. I want to get to my goal and honestly I’d love it if I lost 5 more after that but seriously I probably look and feel better then I have in a long time. Sure I’d rather be fit and lean than fit and a little fat but still it feels like a huge step to have the pendulum swinging the other way for a change. I think Oh when the kids get older I want to go hiking with them, biking with them, I think how will this exercise make me stronger in my life to do things I want to do like go skiing without being sore and biking across the golden gate without being sore (did that right after I was married so much fun but the next day I could barely walk) rather than hey how many calories have I burned and how quick will this weight come off. I’ve had stalled points throughout this journey and will probably have more- the biggest being last June and then Dec-Jan but right now I feel strong and confident.

Goals
X Complete initial 5 k training program
X Run 5 k on own (41.30)
Complete 5 k race
Run 1.5 miles in 14.30
Do 38 crunches in 1 minute
Do 1 Push Up
Do 18 push ups in 1 minute
Get to goal weight