It is a strange world

It is a strange world we live in. My son is now over 11 weeks old and rapidly approaching his 3 month mark. He is a sweet perfect little boy. Unlike his sister he nursed like a champ like his sister he didn't gain weight well his first month of life. This is fine - we actually know how to help this and he is on track and doing wonderful topping 11 lbs now. But this whole part of baby rearing has made me realize that we live in a messed up world when it comes to weight. For some reason fat chubby babies are the pride and joy and the way to be. Parents get this look of pride in their eyes when they discuss how their kid is x number of lbs and over the 90th percentile or even better off the charts. There is this underlying message- if your baby is chubby you are doing something right. It is proof that you are giving him or her the nourishment he or she needs to thrive and live. More pride is probably assoicated with this weight gain when breast feeding but parents who pour formula into a bottle and feed baby seem just as proud. Not knocking formula feeding, We supplemented both kids early - Owen at day 2, and Kailtyn was solely formula fed from 6 weeks on and we were proud when she gained because she was a finicky eater even with formula.

But the weird thing about this is that this pride and joy with having fat healthy babies is replaced by this hatred of our bodies and fat in later childhood, adolescence and adulthood. We go from being a society proud of our chubby big babies to worshiping size zero models. Ironically neither is probably right or healthy or more importantly why isn't there room in the world to embrace diversity - that a health weight in a baby either small or large is something to celebrate just as much as in our teens and ourselves. I say this as someone who daily tries to not hate the image in the mirror which is still quite a bit larger then the pre-Owen me. He is worth but really has my value as a mother, wife, or psychologist changed in anyway beause I carry extra weight from him. Will anyone other then me really care all that much when I do lose the baby weight. Yet I spend a good portion of time feeling bad, trying not to feel bad and waiting for the scale to give me a break. I gained 20 lbs but didn't show much during the first 2/3 or preg - people commented on wow you look great and don't look like you gained any weight. I though hmmmm 20 lbs why do I worry about this so much. Apprarently I am the only one who does.

Then I take my beautiful healthy boy out and someone with babies asks - how old is he. I say 11 weeks and they say - "Oh he looks really small for his age" I say well yeah and then usually say he didn't gain for the first month. He doesn't need any explanation is healthy and happy at the lower percentiles for weight - that shouldn't require any explanation or apology just like your babby at the 95% shouldn't. The funny thing is like my weight this is just a passing comment someone is making to make conversation and comment on my boy - whom I don't think looks small but I am not pissed and so invested when someone say "oh he has a lot of hair or look at those blue eyes- honestly for the person making the comment commenting on him being small for his age is probably no different then saying - "oh he has a lot of hair for such a little baby. He does - maybe I would feel different if he had no hair and someone said look how cute he is the little cueball. Mabybe but I don't think hair has the same emotional wallop as weight does in our society.